Thoughts from the Sidelines
by irmaida
Summary: LBD universe. "Maybe love wasn't standing the sidelines together. Darcy had never felt the same way, ever. Maybe love doesn't happen on the sidelines." Caroline Lee's viewpoint, on sidelines, love, Elizabeth Bennet, and Darcy. Unrequited Caroline/Darcy, established Lizzie/Darcy.


_Thoughts from the Sidelines_

LBD universe. "Maybe love wasn't standing the sidelines together. Darcy had never felt the same way, ever. Maybe love doesn't happen on the sidelines." Caroline Lee's viewpoint, on sidelines, love, Elizabeth Bennet, and Darcy. Unrequited Caroline/Darcy, established Lizzie/Darcy.

\

Elizabeth and _her _Darcy are dancing together. And Darcy is smiling.

Her first thought is, _what are they doing here? _What are the chances, even, that she would randomly run into Elizabeth and Darcy together at a bar? She never even thought she'd live to see the day when Darcy would be on the dance floor, and _enjoying _it.

She has seen neither Elizabeth nor Darcy for around a month or so. She hasn't seen Elizabeth since she spoke to her about Darcy, and she hasn't seen Darcy since she tried to knock some sense into _him _about Elizabeth. Neither encounter seemed to have accomplished anything.

She's followed along on Elizabeth's vlogs. She knows that she and Darcy worked out in the end.

But here, to see them dancing together in a dance floor, at a nightclub, hits her like a sack of birdshot and it _hurts_.

Hurts, because Caroline Lee had thought she'd never live to see the day when she'd see Darcy smiling on a dance floor.

Hurts, because she still remembers the times when they used to stand in the sidelines together. Darcy would stay off the floor because he was Darcy, and Caroline would stay off the floor for him. But it had also been a little for her too.

So she had used to stand off to the sides with Darcy. And she'd thought that maybe Darcy had understood her, and that was why he didn't dance either. And she used to think that maybe she and Darcy were a part of the same world—a small world in the sidelines. It wasn't as bright and fun as the one on the dance floor, but it had been _theirs_. She had thought it was something important, something special. She had thought it was love.

Now, William Darcy is dancing with Elizabeth Bennet, on a dance floor, and Caroline is left alone on the sidelines.

Maybe she was wrong. She's been wrong about a lot of things lately.

Maybe love wasn't standing the sidelines together. Darcy had never felt the same way, ever. Maybe love is being dragged onto the dance floor and forced into something new but ultimately better. Love is what Elizabeth and Darcy has.

Maybe love doesn't happen on the sidelines.

She leans against the wall in the sidelines, where once she leant with and against Darcy, and has to stop herself from sliding to the ground, slipping into a puddle.

Or maybe love just isn't meant to happen to her.

\

Caroline Lee is seventeen years old, at her junior prom. It's been one of the most hectic nights of her life. Her dress feels too short and her heels too high, and her head is throbbing. She's _tired_ of dancing. A slower song comes on to her relief, and she reaches for her date, head quarterback Quincy Sal, but he seems to have disappeared.

Maybe she's been dancing for too long. She doesn't see a single familiar face around, which is scary because she's the most popular girl in her grade; how could she have lost her group?

She finally shoves her way off the dance floor and finds a chair to sit down in, while the music pounds on. She spots Quincy Sal dancing with a blonde cheerleader and decides that no, she is not going to get back on the dance floor. At least not tonight. She glares at the cheerleader. She's not even that pretty. And she's wearing a _yellow _dress. Yellow is such an unflattering color.

She reaches for her phone, about to call Bing to pick her up early, when she notices someone else sitting down in the dark sidelines.

She gets a bit closer and vaguely recognizes him as William Darcy, one of Bing's many friends. What is he doing here? Hasn't he graduated already?

So she does what the natural Caroline Lee would do: she walks up to him and asks him.

When Darcy sees her talking to him, he looks up and looks surprised. "Pardon?" he asks.

She has to repeat her question four more times before he hears her. "What are you doing here? Haven't you graduated already?"

It turns out that Darcy is in a similar dilemma as she is: he came here with a girl that Bing recommended, but the girl decided to dance with someone else. In addition, he admits that he rather dislikes dancing.

She giggles and offers to dance with him to make up for his lost date. To her surprise, he denies her. That's strange. Nobody denies Caroline Lee a dance.

William Darcy is something different.

\

The next time she sees Darcy, it's at her brother's end-of-the-year party, which her brother, being Bing, seems to have invited everyone he's ever liked, known, and passed by on the street.

After dancing with the third boy that she's never seen before in her life, she decides that she's going to take a break from the dance floor and sits down for a while. However, she knows that the longest break she'll ever be able to take is for five minutes. Being the ever-so-proper hostess, Caroline knows it's impolite to disappear.

Then she notices him—Darcy, alone again, in the sidelines again. Except this time, the lighting is slightly less dim, and Caroline notices how handsome he looks tonight. And he's rich too, she reminds herself with a smile.

If she goes off and sits off to the side _with _him, then perhaps she won't look like a bad hostess. She'll just look like she's mingling with the guests. Besides, Darcy is very handsome and very rich. She could probably get something out of him; she usually does get something out of rich, handsome men.

So she sashays over to where he's standing, alone, leaning against the wall. "Hello, Darcy," she says. "How do you like the party?"

"Caroline," he says, rather stiffly.

She slumps onto the wall, rather close to Darcy, and gives him a huge smile. Darcy doesn't smile back, but Caroline thinks she knows Darcy and his type. And the fact that he's letting her share his wall has got to mean something, right?

It's only a matter of time.

\

After that, she starts spending time with Darcy regularly at social gatherings: dances, parties, little outings to restaurants and bars. She stands next to him, against the wall, trying to make conversation. Usually, their conversation is just her giving him compliments and telling him what's going on her life. Darcy isn't very talkative, but she thinks she knows Darcy and his type.

She thinks that maybe Darcy understands how difficult it is to be the perfect hostess and dealing with I'm-better-than-you-at-everything-without-trying Bing and always having to be in the center of the dance floor, even if she doesn't want to.

She likes Darcy because Darcy seems to have all her insecurities—and he seems to embrace them, instead of her, who masks them over with fake smiles. She thinks she understands Darcy.

And she thinks that maybe, Darcy understands her.

"Anyway, that's why Bing decided to throw this party. It's his stupid kindness again. It's like it's wired into him, along with his perfect amiableness and socialness and that thing in him that makes him like everyone and everyone like him. Apparently he thinks that since we have so much we should try sharing it with those less fortunate than us who have to go to community college. Community college, how disgusting. And all the people who go there, so uncivilized! But Bing insists that they're just as good as us, and they seem to adore Bing just as much as everyone else does. What do you think, Darcy?"

As if on cue, Bing passes by, promenading a lovely girl and sending them a friendly smile. Caroline rolls her eyes and looks expectantly on Darcy, waiting for an answer.

"Huh?" Darcy asks. "Er, um, yes."

She giggles. "Oh, you're so _cute _Darcy." And he is: how he has trouble making conversation with her but he _must _be listening to every word, because she's Caroline Lee, and she's the most fascinating person in the world.

\

Netherfield.

Caroline Lee is not happy.

At all.

It's like the entire world of her new town is one gigantic community college: poor, uncivilized people who all adore Bing. She suddenly has to order her hair shampoo online to make sure that she's getting the right brand. At least Darcy decided to tag along, and unlike I-love-everyone Bing, Darcy seems to be enjoying the town just as much as she is. It's refreshing to have someone else to spend time with.

They're at a wedding, a rather large one. The ceremony has actually ended, and now all that's left is the reception. Thank goodness. Caroline thinks that weddings are rather boring, especially one in a new town where she doesn't know anyone.

It doesn't stop Bing from automatically making new friends and winning new hearts, of course. Caroline takes his example and tries conversing with several of the barbarians, but they're not very witty or interesting. Suddenly, there's a commotion. She looks ahead and sees a bouquet fly overhead. The redheaded girl who catches it doesn't look very happy. She looks to see who has the bouquet and, coincidence of coincidences, it's Darcy.

She almost laughs out loud to see poor Darcy, looking extremely stiff and awkward and uncomfortable, little dew drops of sweat on his face. The girl doesn't seem very happy either. Caroline wonders how different the dance would be if _she _was dancing with Darcy. She's an excellent dancer, after all. But no, she wouldn't do that to poor Darcy. They have their own special world, their world in the sidelines. If she and Darcy were dancing, it would just be odd.

No, their world in the sidelines it's better. It's small, but it's _theirs_. And seeing Darcy's rigid expression as he dances, she's sure that he thinks so too.

\

The bar's name is Carter's, and it's a mediocre bar at best. But here she is, along with Jane Bennet, who is currently dancing with Bing, and Jane's two sisters Elizabeth and Lydia. Elizabeth Bennet is also the same girl who danced with Darcy at that one wedding.

"Anyway, so we're remodeling Netherfield," Caroline is saying, on the side with Darcy, while the others are off playing games or getting drunk. How uncivilized. "And Bing and I have to share the bathroom upstairs for this week while we have the other bathrooms painted. Sharing! For an entire week! I have to do my hair, and makeup, and everything. Ugh, I just _hate _sharing. What about you, Darcy?"

"Um, yes," Darcy says, nodding.

"At least I'm sharing Bing; sharing Bing, sorry, meant sharing _with _Bing is okay. Sharing Bing is just awful, and it seems I always have to do it because he's always surrounded with a bunch of friends or girls or whatever. I guess Bing can befriend even these peasants since he's Bing. And now I have to share Bing with peasants, ugh! He's my brother, and I just worry that he's associating with the wrong people."

"Yes, yes," Darcy says again. But he seems odd this night, acting even more awkward than he usually does.

"Peasants," she repeats. And then she continues to complain about the town, Darcy making little comments. But Darcy's mind seems to be elsewhere, and so do his eyes.

He is looking at a certain Elizabeth Bennet.

Why? She tries to regain Darcy's attention by continuing their conversation with renewed vigor, stopping her monologue every minute or so to ask Darcy a question. He answers in even vaguer terms than usual. He's not really paying attention! He's still looking at that other girl!

And then suddenly, in the middle of her rant about this town's awful taste in music, it hits her. _Darcy. Likes. Elizabeth. Bennet_.

It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense at all. She puts on a sneer and teases him lightly, but Darcy doesn't even smile. Darcy not smiling isn't unusual, but he seems genuinely distressed, and that's odd because Darcy is _never _distressed. Ever. He's always calm and composed and perfectly dressed.

Maybe she should do some research into this.

\

She looks up Elizabeth Bennet online, and what she gets are videos diaries. Tons of them.

She learns that Elizabeth hates Darcy and thinks that Darcy hates her. That's a viewpoint she can easily work with.

But she also learns that Jane Bennet's feelings for her brother run a little deeper than she originally thought. And that Darcy likes Elizabeth Bennet more than she originally thought was even possible. Those are viewpoints that she struggles a bit more with.

Oh well. It's nothing she can't fix. Caroline always gets what she wants. Elizabeth Bennet doesn't understand: she doesn't belong in the same world as Darcy and Bing. No, the Bennets are not good enough for her or her loved ones, not at all.

Elizabeth Bennet and William Darcy do not belong in the same world. Darcy belongs in a world with her, she tells herself.

But even then she doubts herself.

\

Darcy and Lizzie are dancing together. And Darcy is smiling…

* * *

So erm, this is for Wendy! Sorry if any of the characters seem OOC and/or this oneshot seems rushed. /cringe


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